Sex and Couples Therapy Part 3: When the Other Woman is a Man RECORDING

Discovering a Male Spouse is Cheating with Another Man

When a male spouse in a heterosexual marriage reveals he fantasizes about having sex with men, is caught looking at online gay porn and in gay chat rooms, and possibly is having sex with men, women–and these men–often worry that he is gay and that the marriage needs to end. However, for many of these men, this is not about gayness. A variety of reasons exist as to why men seek other men for sex which are not about a gay identity. Some of these men wish to engage in sexual contact with their wives which she will not do. He believes his sexual contact with men is “not cheating”. Therapists, being politically correct, often believe the man is in denial about his homosexuality and move him in a direction toward coming out gay when–in fact–he is not. In this workshop, we’ll discuss ways of dealing with the reactivity of the “betrayed” wife, confronting our own and the couple’s homophobia, understand the male’s interest in sexual contact with men, and helping the couple decide what course is best for them.

Learning Objectives

• Describe the psychological meaning of the arousal template of the men who seek sex with men (MSM’s) who are not gay or bisexual.
• Teach the couple how to communicate in non-reactive ways about sexuality and to understand what the behavior means and how it impacts the marriage.
• Address the fears, anxieties and insecurities of these wives about her husband’s sexual interests and how to help her listen effectively to him without it being personalized

These webinars will be recorded. A link to the webinar recordings will be sent to registered participants shortly after their conclusion.