Why do we have the same argument over and over again?

Often times, the same argument comes up again and again because one partner has a wound that s/he/they have tried to get the other to understand -- over and over again.The IMAGO dialogue is the perfect vehicle for the wounded partner to feel truly heard, understood and validated. In addition, it's never really "the issue" about which partners argue. It's the feelings underlying the issue that contribute to the wounding. For example, if they don't pick up his dirty laundry, the story you may tell yourself is that they don't respect you -- or perhaps, they take you for granted. And, those thoughts might lead you to feel sad, hurt, and unloved. The IMAGO dialogue assists you in accessing what is true versus the story you tell yourself, and the ability to observe, without judgment, the feelings that come up because of those beliefs.

Written by:

Laura S. Weissman, MS, MFT
www.PsychEdAboutLove.com


We pick our partners and are in a relationship to heal issues we developed growing up.  Relationships can get stuck in the same argument because you don't have the language to connect and resolve the true issue.  It's not about who is taking the garbage out or emptying the dishwasher. It's deeper. Attend an Imago Workshop to find out more and get the tools to understand your relationship.  

Written by:

Lori Karch, LCSW
Advanced Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
http://www.evolvetherapy.com/

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